Takeshi's No Good, Very Bad Day
by mistressmarionette
Summary: Something like a sequel to Tattoo Stories, but a lot longer. Uh...Takeshi has a long bad day, and there is NO sympathy. Even when it seems like there is...you'll see.
1. The Day Begins

I guess this is kind of a sequel to Tattoo Stories. There's small mentions of what happened in Tattoo Stories here and there...I had fun writing that one, and I wanted to do another, but with more of the cast. Another possible excerpt from the big, fat world tour we never saw. Man, why didn't they ever _show_ us some of that? I swear, if the Princes Ai series had been five books instead of three, there could have been some real golden _development_ in there. Maybe even a non-rushed, non-forced _plot. _Oh well…

* * *

**Takeshi's No Good, Very Bad Day**

**Chapter 1: The Day Begins... **

There was a hotel in London that was an absolute marvel. It was the largest hotel in the country, with too many floors to count, snappy customer service, and a huge, grassy lot in the back that could be easily transformed into a stadium, as many famous folks over the years had. It was a landmark, the perfect place to perform.

And Hayabusa had decided long ago that his Princess Ai would have only the best. So he booked it.

It was the Princess Ai World Tour's first stop.

* * *

_Talented people_, Takeshi decided, _Are all brats. _

It wasn't a generalization. It wasn't a personal observation. It wasn't even an inaccurate statistic listed by the weather man.

It was a fact. A God-given fact.

Anyone with talent, _especially_ the ones he was unfortunate enough to find, were spoiled, presumptuous, egotistical, pampered, indulged, accustomed to getting their way…had he mentioned that they were spoiled?

Because they really, really were.

Takeshi tried to think back; far, far, back in the day, when he'd been young (well…younger), reckless (or…more reckless), and kinda stupid (actually…yeah, the same amount of stupid), and tried hard to remember what had compelled him to first take this or any form of God-awful job under Hayabusa. There must have been a reason, right?

Because if there wasn't, then that would really, really suck.

A techie accidentally tripped over him. The poor guy got one good look at his face, and ran screaming.

Takeshi sighed.

People were too stupid to even check where their own feet were going.

Then again, maybe curling up to die in a narrow, backstage passageway wasn't such a good idea. The talent agent gave serious consideration to the idea of finding another resting spot…

…and decided that it wasn't worth the effort. He rolled over and decided to think about the upcoming schedule instead. Thinking about things like that always made him tired, and subsequently put him to sleep.

Even smack in the middle of a narrow, backstage passageway.

Someone was shaking his shoulder. Hard.

Takeshi hoped it was another techie so he could exert his wrath on the hapless shoulder-shaker without suffering consequences. He groaned when he saw it was Hiro, smirking down at him triumphantly.

"This really isn't the kind of place you should be resting in. I've been looking for you. We have a situation."

"Goody," Takeshi yawned. "I was just hankering for something else to add to my list of Happy Events."

Only straight-laced Hiro could take a comment like that with a straight face. "Indeed."

"_Indeed_," Takeshi mimicked back at him. "Please tell me it's not Ai."

Hiro sighed. "The Princess has found another matter to take up with you. Hurry up."

"Princess Bitch can wait," Takeshi growled. "I was having such a nice dream…"

"What kind of dream?"

"Well, Ai was dead…"

Hiro raised one eyebrow. "And?"

"And? What do you mean, and?" Takeshi asked, truly puzzled. "That was the dream." He sighed, sinking back into post-dream euphoria. "Man, it was a _good_ dream…"

Hiro snorted, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "Indeed."

Takeshi snorted back. "There you go again. _Indeed_." He stretched, and used the wall to pull himself up. "Okay. Let's get this bitch-fest over with."

Hiro pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "She's waiting for you in the hotel dining room. I suggest," His lip curled, "That you clean up before going to see her. You appearance will no doubt only give her more weapons in her arson to use against you."

Takeshi looked down at himself, and immediately realized that Hiro was right. The backstage hallway floor was coated with dust and filth, and now he was too.

"Right," He hissed. "On my way."

Hiro's sharp, Italian leather shoes tip-tapped on the floor as he turned and left Takeshi to his own devices. "How do you expect to execute Hayabusa's plan if you remain a mess like this? Get your act together."

"Thanks for the pep talk, _mom_," Takeshi snarled after him. The talent agent wasn't sure whether or not his coworker had heard him. Hiro had a funny habit of not dignifying snide insults with comebacks. Hiro always said he felt it simply wasn't necessary; Takeshi personally felt that Hiro just wasn't quick enough to rebound with a good one-liner.

Takeshi looked down again at his outfit. This was more damage than a simple brushing-down was going to fix…

Was there time enough to cram in a quick shower?

* * *

Okay, that was pretty short...the next chapter is a bit longer tho! 


	2. Beauty, the Bitch

Chapter 2! Takeshi gets his from Ai...and a bit from Tess.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Beauty, the Bitch**

**  
** In Takeshi's dream, the deed against Ai had been done. He wasn't sure how long ago the actual killing had happened; it could've been anywhere from hours to days. Takeshi had been back in the condo he didn't really seem to actually live in anymore, sitting back with some deliciously alcoholic drink or another, watching TV. He knew, somehow, in the back of his head, that someone was on their way to visit him, and that the someone was absolutely gorgeous, had long, sexy black hair, and was totally willing. He also knew, somehow, in the back of his head, that he'd just received a raise, and his first big, fat, paycheck, advanced. A new piece of Ai merchandise was about to go on sale in response to her sudden and shocking death on stage, but seriously, who actually cared about that?

That had been the best part of the dream. Ai was dead, and there was absolutely no guilt involved.

The loudest banging any humanoid could have produced yanked Takeshi viciously from his daydream, and made him aware that he was naked, the shower water was going cold, and he still had to visit Princess Bitch and see what the hell her problem was.

The banging began again as Takeshi tried to find where the towels were kept. This was probably the least sense-making hotel he had _ever_ been to…

"Open the fucking DOOR, tattoo boy!" The mystery-banger screamed. "I know you're in there; Hiro tipped me off!"

Takeshi made a few furious and very rude gestures in the door's, and subsequently Ai's, general direction, then called sweetly, "If you could wait just a few more minutes, Princess, I'll be right out there!"

"A few minutes my ass!" She screeched. "I've been asking after you for an HOUR!"

Ah. Hiro had forgotten to mention that.

"I said just a SECOND!" He answered, not quite as sweetly as before. He began casting about a little bit more frantically. "Towel, towel…"

Approximately one minute and thirty nine seconds later Takeshi, still partially soaked and clad only in a towel wrapped over his nether regions, opened his hotel room door to a very furious Princess Ai.

"Where. Have. You. _Been?"_

Takeshi thought for a moment.

"_I was asleep in a backstage hallway. It was, in fact, the first bit of solid sleep I've gotten in…oh, I don't know. Three days? Almost four? Yeah, that sounds fair. By the way, I exhausted myself to the point of death for YOUR big show here in London. So I really don't know what else you could possibly want from me."_

Somehow Takeshi wasn't sure that would go down well with the angry talent standing before him.

"Um…"

"You come to my room in FIVE MINUTES!" She snarled. "And put some clothes on!"

Ai reached into his room and grasped the door handle, yanking the door shut with a slam Takeshi was sure woke the dead some fifteen stories below.

Takeshi looked over his shoulder to the rest of his room. He knew there was a shirt somewhere in his trunk, and he _had_ to have some pair of pants somewhere that weren't too wrinkled… His gaze wandered to the clock.

It was now going on seven hours, forty-seven minutes, and one, two, three seconds of the fifth day of this goddamn tour. There were approximately fourteen hours and sixteen days to go before they returned to Japan and Ai's grande finale concert…and her sudden and shocking death.

Takeshi yawned.

* * *

Takeshi had discovered, when Hayabusa had first begun to cycle through his stars with routines that usually ended in a mysterious disappearance, that the easiest way to deal with a talent was to pretend that you hated them. Like, really, really hated them. Pick out their faults and read everything between the lines. Pretty soon the pretend hate became real hate, and taking care of them became a piece of cake. 

And Ai was making it really, really easy to hate her.

Never mind her music. Forget about those five minutes of sympathy in the bus on the way from the airport to the hotel and the first concert.

He was a _professional_, dammit. And he couldn't afford the time that went into considering the alternatives.

Ai had to die. So he'd better start hating her.

It was easy anyway.

* * *

Takeshi considered pounding on the door of Ai's suite, but decided against it. Even difficult talents deserved courtesy. He rapped lightly on the door jamb. 

"FINALLY!"

The door was yanked open, and the talent agent was grabbed and pulled roughly into the Princess' temporary abode by the collar.

Maybe he should have pounded on the door after all.

Ai, Takeshi could see, had made herself very busy in whatever spare time she apparently possessed with redecorating the room via chopping up every article made of cloth with either a rusty pair of scissors or a butcher knife. Takeshi swallowed a groan and tried not to think about how much it would cost to compensate the hotel for the damage. Judging by the look on Ai's face, and the smirk forming on that Harpy-bitch's face, he had more important things to worry about.

Ai was never one to mince words when she wanted her way and wanted it _now._ "There's only one bed in here."

Takeshi blinked. Was that a question or an angry statement or what? "Uh...yes?"

"That's not enough!"

"Princess, this is a single's suite---"

"But where is TESS supposed to sleep?" Ai screeched.

Takeshi winced. "Princess, could you please let go of my shirt?"

"Answer the question, tattoo boy! Where is she supposed to sleep?"

"You could get her a room of her ow---"

"It's my duty to protect the Princess," Tess cut in smoothly. Takeshi snarled inwardly as he realized how much Tess was obviously enjoying watching his personal torture scene. "I must be by her side at all times."

Takeshi threw her a half-hearted dark look. "Isn't the floor good enough for you?"

"You BASTARD!" Ai shook him again. "Don't talk to my friend that way!"

The talent agent took a second to glance around the room. Mini-bar, huge bathroom, huger bed, even huger TV, and…a small couch in the corner. "Um…what about the couch? Princess?" He added quickly.

"The COUCH?" Ai shook him as hard as she could. "You expect me to just dump my friend and bodyguard on the COUCH?"

"Well, yeah---"

"Well, I'm not gonna!"

"Well, it's not like we can just ask the hotel people to drag another bed in here," Takeshi began gently prying Ai's claws off his collar. "Not after all the other collateral damage done to this room. By the way, this is going to cost a fortune to repair."

"WHAT'S going to cost a fortune?" Ai snarled, tightening her grip on him.

"That," The talent agent pointed at the shredded curtains. "And those," He gestured to the ruined sheets and ripped towels. "I know you have a thing for trampy stuff, but seriously, this is a bit over board."

"IT ISN'T TRAMPY, IT'S---"

"Whatever it is, the person who owns this place---and that _wouldn't_ be you---are going to expect some fifty thousand across the counter just for compensation. I don't even want to _think_ about how much the actual repair is gonna cost."

"Are you saying," Ai asked almost sweetly, "That Hayabusa hasn't become stinking rich enough off MY work to pay for it?"

Takeshi sighed. "Unfortunately, no."

"Then WHAT is the problem? Exactly?"

Takeshi rubbed his eyes. "I don't know. I think I lost track. Look, Princess, you've got another concert tonight, and---"

"And I need to rest, I know! But how can I do that and just leave Tess without somewhere to sleep?"

"_Actually, I was GOING to say that there's a bunch of shit to take care of before the show. Not that you care or anything, but it is kinda my ass on the line."_

But Takeshi couldn't say that. Princess Bitch would sic the Harpy on him, and then what?

Takeshi glanced at the bed. "That thing is huge. Can't you just share?"

Ai gasped and shoved him away. "That's…that's _INDECENT!_"

Takeshi snorted. "Princess, decency isn't something I've ever attributed to you. That thing is huge. I doubt you two would even be touching each other."

The diva pointed an accusing claw at him. "You've been imagining things," She hissed. "I don't know what the hell's going through your sick mind, but if you think me and Tess would EVER---"

"Princess, even if I had _time_ to fantasize something like that, I wouldn't. I don't like skinny blonde bitches _or_ winged, fanged brunettes. I like my girls normal, with good curves. And black hair." He glanced around the room again. "Speaking of normal, where's…" He tried to think of her name. He'd never really thought much about that other girl, except to snicker at the idea of Ai dragging around her personal groupie. "Jess? Jackie?"

"Her name is Jen," Tess said coldly. "And I understand that she's visiting some family."

"And that reminds me!" Ai jumped back into the conversation. "We need more VIP seats for her folks. I think she said her mother, father, and two little sisters were coming…"

"So four extra seats," Takeshi tried to remember the VIP list set for that night. Would there even be room for _one_ more? "I'll see what I can do."

"You'd better," Ai snapped, throwing herself on the bed. "Go away! I'm sick of you and your HTA crap!"

"On my way," Takeshi could barely keep himself from sprinting towards the door. "Anything else you need?"

"Check about getting an extra bed up here for Tess," Ai moaned. "And a drink…"

Takeshi decided to ignore the fact that a minibar was positioned about ten feet away from the diva.

"Anything in particular you want? Coke, champagne…arsenic?" He asked hopefully.

And ducked when he saw a lamp coming fast at his head.

Takeshi slammed the door behind him, and headed towards the nearest elevator.

"Just think," He muttered. "After this tour, she won't be my problem…"

Somehow, the idea didn't seem to do anything to cheer him up.

* * *

Slight Takeshi angst. I like him angsty. Up next...Hikaru! 


	3. War Of The Blondes

It's Hikaru's turn! I was always kinda torn about Hikaru. he seemed all right, when he wasn't whining...oh, wait, he was always whining. I stayed pretty faithful to the whining in this chapter...oh, and another Tattoo Stories reference, tho it's pretty small...

And...though not all of them have been shown in color...Hikaru, Kent, Takeshi, and Ai are all blonde, right? I know Kent and Ai are...and since Hikaru's and Takeshi's hair and drawn pretty similarly, I'll assume they're blonde too. Hey, watch, the anime will come out and Takeshi will have blue hair...ha ha...God, I hope that doesn't happen. They better let him have silver hair at least...

**

* * *

Chapter 3: War of the Blondes**

"So, champagne, a second bed, a replacement lamp, and…try not to scream when you go in there. 'Kay?" Takeshi smiled as charmingly as he could manage. The girl at the counter nodded, obviously confused. "Excellent. We appreciate your cooperation." He turned and was about to saunter smoothly away…

…but ended up bumping into Hikaru instead.

"Ow!" The younger boy almost screeched. "Can't you watch where you're…oh. Takeshi. Hey."

"Hey. Sorry," Takeshi rubbed his shoulder ruefully.

"Hey, do you know where Kent is?"

"Uh…no," Takeshi raised an eyebrow. "Should I?"

Hikaru looked skeptical. "Isn't it your _job_ to keep track of where people are?" Before Takeshi could respond, he continued, "No, it's all right. She obviously put you up to it."

Takeshi blinked. "Who?"

"Ai," Hikaru said miserably. "She told you not to tell me, right? I bet she wants some alone time with him."

Takeshi scratched his head. "Hikaru, I don't think Princess Ai has even seen Kent today."

"Takeshi! It's okay, okay?" He sniffed loudly. "She doesn't trust me at all. I already told her I'm cool with the whole thing, and she _still_ doesn't trust me!"

"Um…look…"

"Stop it, already!" Hikaru snapped. "I don't need _you_ to try and make me feel better!" He rubbed his eyes furiously. "What do you care, anyway? You're so wrapped up with HTA. You're making things hard for her, you know!"

Takeshi tried to swallow the curses crawling their way up his throat and pushing to get out his mouth. _He_ was making things hard for _her?_

"You tried to keep Kent and Ai separated," Hikaru continued. "Do you even know what my baby went through to get past your security to see her again? My poor Kent…and now that they really _are_ together, you're pretty much sticking your foot out to make them trip, you're so desperate to make things horrible for them!"

"Hikaru---"

"You wouldn't even let them get a room together! You put them on opposite ends of this building!"

"Hikaru, we're in a _lobby_!"

"You like her, don't you?"

The question took Takeshi completely by surprise. "Like who?"

"Ai, you idiot," Hikaru put his hands on his hips. "It's pretty obvious. You want her, don't you?"

Takeshi struggled to close his gaping mouth. "Why would I want---"

"Why _wouldn't_ you want her? She's hot, and talented…and blonde!"

"Actually," Takeshi said hotly. "I prefer black hair. It's sexier."

"No wonder you're trying to keep her so closed off in HTA. It's like Repunzel in a freakin' tower! You're just saving her for yourself! You two were together in that _bus_ for so long…_alone!_" Hikaru jabbed a finger at him wildly. "I'm onto you!"

"Listen, you little faggot, I've got to---"

Hikaru gasped dramatically. At first Takeshi was sure it was in response to the "faggot" line, but then Hikaru continued, "So it's not her. It's _him._"

Takeshi had a gut feeling that he knew where this was going. "Him?"

"Kent," Hikaru said hostilely. "That's why you're keeping them apart. It's not Ai you want…it's Kent!"

"Why would I want---"

"Why _wouldn't_ you want him? He's hot, and talented…and blonde!"

"For the last time, you little creep," Takeshi hissed. "Black hair. _Black hair_ is my turn on. Not blondes!"

"I saw you two talking at Ai's autograph session back home! It was written all over your _face!_ Oh, why didn't I see it before?" Hikaru was practically hugging himself. "_Everyone_ wants my Kent!"

"Right," Takeshi took a deep breath. "Okay. Have you looked for your Kent in his room?"

"Of course I have!" Hikaru sniffed. "All I could find was his wallet and clothes…and a wet towel from his shower…and his cologne…" He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, as if he could smell it right there in the lobby.

"Well, I don't know where else he could be, then. Sorry." He turned to leave, but felt something tugging on the tail ends on his shirt. He turned and saw Hikaru had a death grip on him. "Was there something else?"

"Yeah," Hikaru said darkly. "You stay away from my Kent. You're not the type for him. You'd probably just get him killed or something. So you _stay away_." He tugged harder on the talent agent's shirt to accentuate his point. "You hear me?"

"Loud and clear, faggot," Takeshi snapped, ripping himself away from the younger boy. He made the fastest break for the bar he could manage without running.

* * *

Next up...Hiro and the Nasty Phone Call!  



	4. Hiro and the Nasty Phone Call

So...yeah, more Takeshi hating. What did you expect?

* * *

**Chapter 4: Hiro and the Nasty Phone Call**

"You guys got something deeply caffeinated?" Takeshi asked breathlessly. The clean-cut, bow-tied young man on the other side of the counter smiled understandingly.

"I've got something that'll keep you going for days. Sit tight, sir."

Takeshi sighed in relief and let himself slump onto one of the empty stools. Caffeine, than work. He could probably last the day, with whatever the barkeeper was guaranteeing would keep him "going for days".

"Takeshi! There you are!"

It was Hiro. Takeshi almost groaned. "What now?"

"Phone call for you," Hiro narrowed his eyes meaningfully. Despite his frown, he sounded rather pleased with himself.

Takeshi narrowed his eyes back. He and Hiro were coworkers...but that was it. That was the general deal with working under Hayabusa. Everybody was working for the same guy, sure, but definitely not to make nice with each other. It was dog-eat-dog when it came to survival, and it only got harder the longer you were there.

Takeshi and Hiro had both been there long enough.

One of them had to go. Soon.

Takeshi turned back to the counter and rapped it quickly. The barkeeper turned around.

"Think you could hold that drink for me for a few minutes?"

The barkeeper nodded. "It'll be waiting when you get back, sir."

Takeshi straightened his collar and turned back to Hiro. "Okay. Which phone?"

"The hotel's." Hiro looked him up and down. "What happened to your shirt?"

"What?"

"The collar, the tails…you look like someone tried to maul you in an alley."

Takeshi forced a smirk. "You have no idea how close to the truth you are…"

Hiro looked him up and down again, and snorted. "I can believe it."

* * *

"And how is our diva doing?"

"Up to her usual standards, sir. By the way, if you hear about anything concerning a certain single's hotel suite, I've got it covered."

"You're my best man, Takeshi. I'm sure you've got everything under control. And yet…Hiro tells me you've been a little slower lately."

Takeshi gulped. "It's a long tour, sir."

"Hmph. Just make sure you keep your act together."

"Yes sir."

"Well, that's about all. I want tonight's concert to go on without a hitch."

"I'm sure it will be hitchless, sir."

"Hitchless…ha ha. Keep up the good work. Put Hiro back on, would you? And Takeshi…"

"Yes sir?"

"I expect this to be executed perfectly. I am holding you to your word. If you don't---"

"Mondo consequences. Just like our contract outlines. Don't worry about it, sir. I've got things covered."

"You'd better. Put Hiro on."

Takeshi held the receiver out to Hiro. "Back to you, big shot."

Hiro took the phone. The corners of his mouth were twitching. "What did he say?"

"Who wants to know?"

"I'm only curious," Hiro replied drily. "I worry for you, you know."

"Sure you worry," Takeshi smiled at him. "You worry how much longer I'll be in your way, right?"

Hiro smiled back. The sight made Takeshi's stomach turn a little. "You have no idea how close to the truth you are..."

And Takeshi could believe it.

* * *

Next up...Kent! You wouldn't think Kent would do anything mean, would you? Not on purpose, anyways...  



	5. Old?

Longer chapter, just cause Kent and Takeshi talking to each is so grand. I died happy reading those five or so pages with them talking about Ai. So awesome...oh, and I took a few guesstimates on people's ages in this chapter. I couldn't find any official info...hey, if anybody can find that out for me, could you tell me how old everybody is? Then I can go back and fix this chapter...thanks!

By the way...I like reviews. I really, really do. So...any kind of review would be nice. Love this? Hate this? Think it could improved in some way? Tell me! Don't be shy!

* * *

**Chapter 5: Old?**

Takeshi was just about to take a long-awaited gulp of the caffeinated beverage when:

"Hey, Takeshi, have you seen Hikaru?"

Takeshi glanced over his shoulder at Kent. And grinned. The promise of caffeine was giving him a bit of a fake high. "Seen him and felt him. He's looking for you."

Kent's eyebrows shot up. "Uh…wow."

The talent agent snorted. "Wow what? That boy's attached himself to you like a leech. I thought that was old news."

"No, not that…Takeshi, have you been drinking a lot lately? I mean," Kent gestured awkwardly at the drink clutched in Takeshi's hand, "What is that?"

"Hopefully, pure caffeine. Why, do you think it's poisoned?"

Kent wrinkled his nose. "It's not alcohol?"

"I don't drink on the job. Not much, anyway."

"Really? 'Cause…I mean, don't take it personal, but…you look like shit, man."

Takeshi smiled tightly. He was beginning to deeply fear the verbal AK-47 Kent seemed to carry with him at all times. "Gee. Do I?"

Kent nodded seriously. "Are you all right?"

"I will be," Takeshi raised his glass to the other boy. "Here's to you and your faggot. By the way, you better not talk to me for a while."

"Huh?"

"The boy-lover thinks we two are boy-lovin' each other. But don't worry," Takeshi winked ingratiatingly, "I didn't say a word about _last night_."

Kent shook his head. "Very funny. Have a nice…whatever that stuff is."

"Caffeine! Beautiful, pure, sexy caffeine, baby!" Takeshi called after him, earning him a few stares from the patrons sitting near him. He laughed at them loudly. The barkeeper glanced at him anxiously.

"Maybe I gave you the wrong drink," He suggested. "I haven't been here that long; I might have mixed---"

"Kid, I haven't even sipped it yet. You're fine," Takeshi assured him.

"Oh, Takeshi!" Kent was back, panting.

"Forget something?"

"Where's Ai?"

"Best case scenario, in hell. Worst case scenario, getting drunk off some champagne in her deluxe suite. I wouldn't advise going in there, personally," Takeshi swirled his drink in his glass a little. "You know, I think she's a lot more nervous than she's letting on. Tantrums don't just start on their own."

"Tantrums?" Kent sat in the empty stool next to Takeshi. "Like what?"

"Like a lamp thrown at my head, that's what. And her room…holy shit, man. I thought you were going to confiscate all the sharp objects she had?"

Kent sighed. "She said it was girls only in there, and her love for me doesn't change the fact that I have male genitalia."

"Girls only?" Takeshi snapped indignantly. "What the hell does that make me, then?"

"Her manager. And the guy who's holding this whole thing together. We all know it, you know," Kent added in a way that must have seemed nonchalant to his ears.

Takeshi was not fooled.

"Look---"

"I mean, I know we don't say it a lot---"

"Kent---"

"Ai especially. But I mean, that's stress. We are all really---"

"Will you quit being so---"

"Grateful," Kent finished triumphantly, as Takeshi spat out the word, "Corny."

The talent agent snorted. "PBS would kill for guy-love like this. Teary thank you's. Raging young hormones. Faggot-jealousy. Drinking. A miraculously straight pretty-boy."

Kent smirked. "I try."

"I don't know how well you're succeeding," Takeshi glanced slyly at the other boy. "You and Hikaru share a few rooms back home, _right_?"

Kent blushed. "We're roommates. Don't turn it into something like that."

"Roommates…yeah right," Takeshi snickered. "It's in college when people experiment."

Kent wrinkled his nose. "Do you even realize how old you sound when you say stuff like that?"

"No," Takeshi shook his head. "How old?"

"Like…twenty-five. Maybe even thirty."

"Ah."

"How old are you, anyway?"

"Wow. That's kinda personal."

"No it's not," Kent shook his head, sending fly-away blonde bangs sailing every which way. "I'm nineteen. There, see? I said it. It's not personal."

Takeshi puffed out his cheeks. "Nineteen, huh?"

"Yeah. And you are…?"

Takeshi thought for a moment. Last year had been…and his date of birth was…

"Twenty-seven," He finally announced. He lifted his glass and tipped it politely in a shocked Kent's direction, then drank deeply.

"Twenty…seven?"

The talent agent somehow managed to nod without spilling a drop of the miracle-beverage.

"For serious?"

Takeshi downed the last of the drink and banged the glass on the table. "Absolutely disgusting! Oh, yeah," He turned back to Kent. "For very serious."

"Dude…you're _old._"

Takeshi blinked. "Twenty-seven isn't old. Not that old."

"Yeah…but old-_er._"

"Older than you, yeah."

"Yeah, but…" Kent scratched his head. "Three more years, and then _thirty._"

Takeshi sighed. "Yeah. But hey," He stretched. "I can hide wrinkles easy. Don't forget, I'm in there deep and personal with makeup artists."

"Isn't thirty when the mid-life crisis begins?"

Takeshi froze in mid-stretch. "Huh?"

"Mid-life crisis. Everybody has one around thirty."

Takeshi tried to shrug casually. "Some people have 'em at different times."

"Still…in three years, you'll be in the danger zone."

Takeshi thought about it for a second. "Really?"

"Yeah, man," Kent nodded. "I mean, haven't you thought about it?"

Takeshi snorted. "This job doesn't exactly give me time to _think._ I just _do._"

Kent teethed his bottom lip. "I can imagine."

A rather awkward silence fell.

Finally, Kent cleared his throat.

"Well," He said briskly. "I'd better check on Ai. If she's as bad as you said…"

And with that, he practically ran to the nearest elevator, leaving Takeshi to sit and contemplate:

Was he really _old?_

"Hey, barkeep," He said slowly, gesturing to his empty glass. "One more of the same?"

* * *

There's just no love! Up next...Yoshi! 


	6. Five Second Therapy

Takeshi angsting! I've said it once, I'll say it a million times: I like him angsty.Setting things up for an upcoming chapter or two. And getting back more to Tattoo Stories and the second chapter. Hopefully I'll get something from Ai's POV in here soon.

* * *

**Five-Second Therapy**

"Takeshi? Takeshi!"

The talent agent peered over his shoulder at Hiro. "What now?"

Hiro paused for a second to clear his throat. "And just what might those be? Vodka?"

Takeshi turned back to the mountain of empty glasses in front of him. He wrinkled his nose, blinking rapidly. "Don't think so. Hey!" He rapped the counter for the barkeeper's attention. "What exactly was that stuff?"

"Pure caffeine with flavor, sir,"

"What he said," Takeshi nodded, picking up one of the glasses and pouring a few collected drops from the bottom of it into his mouth. He looked down at the pile of glasses again. "Wow. That was more than I thought."

"Hmph," Hiro pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

"Hey, look on the bright side. Maybe it works like drug-over-dosage, and I'll drop dead in a few minutes. Then you can deal with Princess Hellion all on your lonesome." The talent agent peered into the glass he was holding. "Man, that stuff grows on you. How do you make it?"

"That would be a secret, sir," The barkeeper smiled.

Takeshi turned back to Hiro. "You wanted something?"

"The stage manager wants a word with you," Hiro pointed in the general direction of the big grassy lot where Ai would be performing that night. "Something about fixed lighting."

"Huh." Takeshi pushed himself unsteadily from his stool and began teetering away. "No news from her Royal Bitchiness yet, right?"

"Nothing yet."

"Wow, a whole twenty minutes of quiet," Takeshi laughed half-heartedly. "We're on a role. Oh, hey, Hiro!"

"What?"

Takeshi scratched the back of his head. "How old are you?"

Hiro pushed his glasses back up his nose. "That's a rather personal question."

"Yeah, I know, but…?"

"Thirty-two."

Takeshi's face fell. "Really?"

"Yes. My birthday was last month, remember? You were happy because I had to pay for the drinks when all of us had to go out to dinner."

"…_Really?"_

"Yes," Hiro repeated harshly. "Are there any other personal questions you'd like to breach?"

"No. No…See ya," Takeshi added unnecessarily. As though they wouldn't be seeing each other again in just a few hours.

Once Takeshi had tottered out of sight, Hiro turned back to the barkeeper. "He didn't really just drink some twenty servings of caffeine, did he?"

The barkeeper laughed softly. "No, sir. I began substituting the original drink with water and the same flavoring after his second glass. If he'd really drunken all that," He gestured to the empty glasses before him, "He really might have died. Or at least gone to the hospital."

"Hmph," Hiro narrowed his eyes at the mess. "Pity. Oh, well." He turned to leave.

"Uh, sir? Will you be covering the bill for this?"

Hiro whirled around in shock. "Excuse me?"

"The bill," The barkeeper looked slightly perturbed that he had to say anything about it at all. "Somebody has to pay it."

Hiro rolled his eyes. Fine, whatever. The money all came from Hayabusa anyway. "All right. How much is all this?"

The barkeeper pushed the receipt to the other man. Hiro glanced at it, and had to take off his glasses and wipe them on the corner of his jacket. "This is the correct receipt? You're sure this is the right one?"

The barkeeper nodded.

Hiro took a deep breath and let the air hiss out slowly between his teeth. "No matter," He muttered calmly. "It's not like his last paycheck will be going anywhere…the dead can't spend."

* * *

Takeshi was surprised to find himself jogging over the wet grass. _Jogging_. He'd been ready to die just five minutes ago, and now he was _jogging_.

_Damn. That stuff WORKS._

Takeshi snorted at his own thought. Of course that stuff worked. It'd pretty sad if it didn't work after twenty-something glasses of it. Even the thought of becoming a straight-laced working stiff with glasses and an extreme mid-life crisis once he hit thirty didn't seem to be doing much to dampen his spirits.

It occurred to him suddenly that he used to jog a lot. Down the sidewalk. With people. He'd been a people, then, hadn't he? Yes, a person. With friends, a mediocre job, a life, even. During his year between high school and college. What had he done for money? Oh, right, cars. He'd helped people fix their cars. Takeshi sighed happily. The grease between his fingers had felt so---

"OOF!"

The talent agent suddenly became vaguely aware that he seemed to be about to make friends with the grass below him. In an ungainly attempt to throw his arms out to catch himself, he managed to slide a few feet across the wet grass and position himself so that he could provide a soft landing for whatever it was he had run into. If there had been time somewhere in there to scream, he might have gone ahead and done that too.

"Oh, Takeshi! You should really watch where you're going!"

The big thing that had crushed his spine stood and began brushing itself off. Takeshi rolled onto his back and groaned.

"Sorry, Yoshi."

The drag queen tittered. "Such a gentleman. Come on, up you get!" He hauled Takeshi up bodily by his arms and began brushing him off as well. "You haven't been doing so well lately."

Takeshi made a face of mock horror. "My secret is out? Who else knows?"

For some reason this made Yoshi blush. Takeshi rolled his eyes.

Faggots.

"Hiro mentioned you were having a hard day," Yoshi continued.

"Was he giggling as he said it?"

Yoshi smiled. "Takeshi, you are perfectly paranoid."

"I most certainly am not. Hiro's just jealous of my hair. Or something." What garbage was this that was coming out of his mouth? Must have been the caffeine. All that caffeine…Takeshi felt something low in his gut stir. "Hey, there's a bathroom at that stadium, right?"

Yoshi put a finger to his lips. "Hmm…don't think so."

"What, Ai's fans are just gonna crap on the grass tonight? What'd they do last night?"

"I don't think they were very worried about those sort of things. They were probably more caught up with the Princess."

"Seriously?" Takeshi snorted. "Princess Ai: owner or the world's hearts and rectums."

"Takeshi!" Yoshi gasped. "That's an awful thing to say! Ai doesn't speak that way about you!"

"Look me in the eye and tell me that again, Yoshi. I know she's plotting some kind of slow death for me." It wasn't even funny, especially with his new orders, but he found himself snickering. "Maybe she'll set her constipated fans on me."

The drag queen pursed his lips. "You really are incredibly paranoid."

"You said that already."

"I meant it this time, Takeshi," Yoshi's perfectly plucked eyebrows were drawn together in concern. "HTA covers counseling for you, doesn't it? Is that part of the medical package?"

"Very funny, Yoshi." The talent agent made as if to leave. "Paranoia is a job requirement. I don't think they'll pay for anything that would kill those instincts." He was only half-joking, but Yoshi was giving him the kind of look Takeshi usually reserved for the retarded. That kind, cloying, "no matter how much you drool, I will NOT look away or be disgusted" sort of look.

"Takeshi," Yoshi called softly after him. "Do you think there are people who want to hurt you?"

Takeshi stopped and glared over his shoulder at him. "That's gotta be the stupidest question anyone has asked me in the last five hours. Of course people want to hurt me."

"Well…yes…yes, I guess that's true," Yoshi pressed a hand to his cheek, as though to keep himself from blushing. He was failing miserably. "But do you think the Princess wants to hurt you?"

"Well, let's think for a second. In the past few months I have been with her, I have received death threats, found various straw voodoo dolls with my name tacked to them, almost been drowned, had huge stage sets fall on me, and just generally been kicked around and abused. Hey, you're right! No threat on my life there," Takeshi rolled his eyes. Yoshi's serious look was starting to weird him out a little. "What?"

"Oh…" Yoshi's face fell. "Nothing, I guess. I sort of thought you and the Princess were getting along a little better."

"Why would we do that?"

"Well…the Princess mentioned that you and she had had a bit of a heart-to-heart---"

"A bit of a WHAT?"

"That you two had talked!" Yoshi amended quickly. "And had quite a talk. She said she was happy, because usually she could never understand you. And when she could, she didn't like what she was understanding. You could say she sees you in a newer light now," Yoshi added cheerfully. Takeshi almost winced. Happy-pillow talk made him sick to begin with, let alone when it was coming from someone he was going to have to shoot dead in a few weeks.

"Really?" Takeshi snorted, trying to look like his usual bad-ass self. "That didn't seem to stop her from throwing a lamp at my head this morning."

Yoshi's jaw dropped. "A LAMP?"

"Yeah. A big heavy one. It shattered on the door jamb."

"Oh, Takeshi…"

Yoshi's pained expression was a little more sympathy than Takeshi had been expecting. "What now? You keep giving me that look…_what_, Yoshi?"

"That must have been awful," Yoshi said softly.

"Well, yeah…"

"And with your big breakup only a little while ago…"

Oh.

_Oh._

Was that the connection Yoshi was making? Takeshi hadn't even thought of it.

Her sitting on the bed, crying.

Him getting fed up with his own lack of articulation, and even more with the fact that his excuses sounded like something lame out of a soap opera.

Turning his back…heading for the door…and something knocking the breath out of him, hard.

Blacking out…

When he woke up, her kneeling over him, still crying…and apologizing for being such an awful, jealous, ugly person.

And him not having the breath to tell her that she was wrong.

It had made him sick.

"That was months ago," Takeshi finally said. "Almost a year ago. I'm way over it. Remember Mika?"

"Mika was hardly anything of the healing kind," Yoshi said sharply. "Do you really think she helped you?"

Takeshi shrugged. He'd never expected help from Mika in the first place. "It was good, healing sex?"

"Takeshi."

"I'm fine, okay? What's with the whole therapy session thing, here, anyway? I need to meet with that set guy about the lights!" He strode off angrily, his heels kicking up clumps of grass. He could almost hear one of the gardeners yelling at him about the grass had been so damn perfect, why did he have to ruin it?

"Takeshi! TAKESHI!"

Yoshi could yell pretty damn loud when he felt like it.

The talent agent felt something yank his shoulder back hard, then catch him as he almost slid yet again over the grass.

Yoshi looked down at him. "I'm sorry. Maybe I'm meddling too much. But I'm worried about you. You need to talk to somebody."

"Not right now I don't!" Takeshi pushed himself up roughly. "I have to go!" Both literally and figuratively. That set guy wasn't going to wait forever, and it looked like Takeshi was going to have to find a shady bush to hide behind if Yoshi was right about the stadium's lack of bathrooms.

Yoshi held up his palms, both defensively and pleadingly. "Talk to Ai again. She can help you. You _know_ she can. Maybe she can give better advice than I can. If you're mad about earlier," He added quickly. "I'm sure she just forgot about what you told her. She wouldn't have touched nerves like that on purpose. She forgets when she flustered.

"I don't need advice from _her_! And what's this crap about nerves, anyway? I didn't have anything like that in mind! " Takeshi headed off again. "I'll see you later!" He heard Yoshi sigh behind him.

"Takeshi, _why _do you hate her so much?"

The talent agent didn't bother to call back an answer the drag queen. He knew his answer wouldn't make any sense.

_Because I need to._

* * *

Up next...gee, I really dunno. Any requests?_  
_


	7. Girl Talk

So, I realized I hadn't updated this thing in, like, ever, and that really bothered me. But I couldn't really get into proper Takeshi-mode, so I decided to just let Ai and co. do the bitching for me. And more setting up for later…

* * *

**Girl Talk**

"I'm just so worried for him…"

"Yoshi, come sit," Ai called from her bed. She was spread out over the numerous sheets, and kept giggling at random. It might have had something to do with the impression Yoshi was doing of a mother hen, or it might have had something to do with the near-empty champagne glass held loosely in her fingers. "And have a drink. And stop worrying. He's just being an asshole, like always."

"Oh, Princess," Yoshi sighed dramatically. "I've just known him for so long. He's like a living rollercoaster. He worries me."

"I worry about him too," Tess said from the smaller mattress that the hotel maids had brought up for her. She had changed into a plain t-shirt and just panties. The dragons of her wings were snapping at each other playfully, and every once in a while she had to shush them. "It's been bothering me quite a bit, lately."

Ai nearly dropped her glass. "What, seriously?"

Tess nodded. "His loyalties are torn. It's easy to see. He's not on our side."

"Oh, Tess, that's nonsense!" Yoshi protested. "Takeshi is loyal as…as…as a puppy!"

Ai cackled at that. She could see Tattoo Boy with short brown fur and a cute wagging tail.

"And that's the problem right now," Yoshi continued. "He's been with Hayabusa for so long…he's getting stuck in cycles. He's just been on a downward spiral…ever since his break up with Yuri…"

Ai sat up. "Tell me about this Yuri girl. I've never heard anybody else even talk about her."

"Oh, Ai," Yoshi pressed a hand to his burning cheeks. "I shouldn't. Really. Takeshi's privacy---"

"But Yooooo-ssssssshhiiiiiii…" Ai whined. "I hate secrets _so much_, and I want to know about this _so much_…"

"Oh, fine!" Yoshi giggled and plopped himself down on the mattress next to Ai. "Well…I only met her once or twice. Takeshi kept her a bit of a mystery from the rest of us. But she had all three of his weaknesses---"

"Which are?" Ai asked.

"Black hair," Yoshi ticked off on his fingers. "Pale skin. Long legs."

"The vixen type, huh?"

"No, she didn't really strike me as much of a "vixen". She always looked…well, sleepy. Or stoned. Her eyes never seemed to be all the way open, like she was glaring at you. And she always spoke very softly, from the back of her throat, like she was growling. Or purring. I don't know," Yoshi plucked Ai's glass from her fingers and took a swig. "I can't say I entirely approved of her."

"Huh. Join the club," Ai snatched her glass back. "I don't like her already."

"But Takeshi seemed so happy with her. He always had this huge smile plastered on his face. Not his smarmy, customer-satisfaction act, though. A real smile. Like, whatever energy she didn't have, he could compensate."

Ai stared into the dregs of her champagne meditatively, and reached for the bottle to pour herself another. "And after they broke up?"

"Oh, gosh, I don't even know. It was like a personality switch. He got the stoner-look, and he was so apathetic about everything. It only got worse when Mika got on the scene."

Ai snorted. She could bet. "So that's his type? Dark-haired, squinty-eyed ghost girls…well," She sniffed. "At least he won't be looking at me twice anytime soon. It'd be too creepy."

"But he's been more like himself since you signed on, Ai. Not entirely back, but better." Yoshi sighed. "Except, of course, for this tour. It's major stress."

"Well, I wouldn't have thrown anything at him if he hadn't been such an asshole," Ai said stubbornly. "He was acting like me and Tess were…were…!"

"I'm sure he was only kidding, Princess," Yoshi said, mollifying.

"I'm not so sure," Tess glowered from her corner.

"Oh, you two!" Yoshi tittered. "You only ever look for the worst in him."

"Usually that's all I can see," Ai said moodily.

"It may be because Jen isn't here to make us behave," Tess said thoughtfully.

"Well, while she's NOT here, I just want to say that the softest side of Takeshi I've ever seen is guilty," Ai stated. "Beyond that, I don't know how capable he is of being much of a lover."

"Oh, Ai," Yoshi smiled warmly. "You really don't know him at all."

"Huh?"

"Takeshi can be very sweet. And thoughtful."

"What, when he's not being a hot-head?"

Yoshi nodded earnestly. "Just get him drunk one day, and you'll see. He's the sappiest drunk I've ever seen in my life."

Ai glanced suggestively at Tess. "Drunk, huh?"

"The truth is, Takeshi has major dependency issues. He gets attached to people, and he hates change. It makes him feel unstable. He said something once," Yoshi trailed off thoughtfully, "About how he felt like Yuri was an anchor for him…"

"An anchor," Ai snickered. "That's an attractive way to describe a girl."

"Anyway, you watch out, Princess," Yoshi stood up and dusted himself off. "He's looking to pick a fight now, and you keep presenting opportunities."

"Huh? Where are you going?" Ai held out her glass. "Have some more! This stuff is so bubbly!"

"Speaking of that, don't drink any more," Yoshi plucked the glass from her hand and set it firmly on the mini bar counter. "I have to help with some of the preparations for rehearsal. That's in just an hour or two, you realize," He added pointedly. "Try to get some more rest, okay?"

Ai pouted. "Yes, ma'am."

Yoshi squealed and wrapped her up in a big bear hug. "Oh, you're just too cute! Be good. No more shredded curtains, okay?"

"Okay," Ai mumbled into Yoshi's not-cleavage.

When Yoshi had bustled his way out of the room, Ai turned to Tess and smiled. "A sappy drunk, huh?"

Tess' eyebrows shot up, but she was quick to smirk back. "A drunk Takeshi," She said slowly, "Would be a real treat for the eye."


End file.
